stray cats

Let me see if I got this right.  The Justice Department is arraigning Roger Clemens because he allegedly lied to Congress about taking a drug that wasn't illegal at the time.
This is the same congress that decided that Timothy Geithner should be Secretary of the Treasury even though he failed to pay his taxes...and the same Justice Department that decided it wasn't going to prosecute members of the "New Black Panther Party" who were intimidating voters by standing in front of a polling location in para-military dress, carrying night sticks, during the last presidential election.
So, here it is in a nutshell; Clemens could get as much as 30 years and a $1.5 million dollar fine (not likely to be that severe) for cheating at baseball and lying to congress about it (congress is involved in this, why?) while Geithner breaks the law by failing to pay taxes and wins a high-level cabinet post, and the Black Panthers get a free pass after trying to deprive citizens of their most valuable and treasured American right. I guess that sounds about right.


I quit smoking about 6 months ago...for at least the 15th time in the last 36 years.
Once I quit for a few hours out of protest when I went to the local 7 - 11 and the price of a pack of Winstons had gone up to 50 cents ... outrageous!!!
Once I quit for about 5 years because I went to the hospital with chest pains one night and the doctor told me I hadn't had a heart attack but smoking was going to kill me.  After 5 years I bummed one at work one night and...well, if you've ever quit smoking you know what happens after you've had that first one and "it didn't bother you."
Most recently I quit to save money on health insurance.  I had to sign an affidavit that I didn't smoke or my health insurance premium would go up $25.00 per month. 
Let's see, I was smoking approximately 2 packs every 3 days. At roughly $4.00 per pack (at the time) that's around $80.00 a month I was spending on cigarettes. And I was Ok with $80 for smokes but not with the $25 for the insurance, so I guess it was psychological more than financial, because if cigarettes had gone up to $5.50 a pack I don't think it would have had the same impact as the insurance thing.  Anyway for whatever reason I quit again.


I went to the dentist this morning.  I didn't take my phone because I'm afraid that if it rings while I'm in the chair, someone will flinch and the hygienist will pierce my gum with that wicked looking pointy thing she has in my mouth.  I also didn't take a camera because, well, why would you take a camera to the dentist's office.
So I'll just have to tell you this and you use your imagination.  They are building some new buildings in the complex where the dentist's office is. As I was driving up I noticed two guys working on the windows of this new building.  They are both using ladders.  The first guy has a normal extension ladder he's up on it working.  the second guy has one of those folding step ladders, you know just the "A" shaped thing...but he's climbing it up-side-down and keeps falling. What I mean by up-side-down is he has the ladder up-side-down. He doesn't unfold it but props it up against the building, legs up and top down and tries to climb. I don't know, he finally got up...
that might have made more sense if I'd been able to take a picture.

If The Honda FIT(s)...

LANCASTER, SC.--- This morning a young couple caught my eye as I walked across the Wal-Mart parking lot.
They were walking around, taking pictures of each other beside a car with a digital camera (no the car didn't have a digital camera, they did,) [so what was that, some kind of participle error or something?] 
Isn't that cute, I thought.
They must have just bought a brand new car and are so excited they are taking pictures of themselves with it everywhere they go.  I've felt that way about a new car before.  Never actually done that though.
Anyway, back to the story.  The car was a grayish- silver "Honda FIT" with black alloy wheels.  No idea what year, I can't tell anymore. All cars are pretty much non-descript these days except for the really high-end jobs like a Lamborghini, or a Ferrari.
So, there you go, they are happy and taking pictures and I am walking. When I get to the crosswalk area and hesitate to check for traffic I turn around and see the couple walking across to the next aisle of the lot. 
I watch them get into another car 3 rows over from where I first noticed them.  It's a small car and I can't see it so I wait until they pull out of their spot and drive towards me.
The car is a grayish-silver "Honda FIT" with black alloy wheels.  No idea what year, you can't tell....
Hey wait a minute...is that a pixel echo I'm seeing?  Did I accidentally activate the "cut and paste" function.
No, they were taking pictures of themselves standing by a car, which to the untrained eye was identical to the one they drove off, in but it wasn't...the one they drove away in, that is. 
So I been wondering about this; assuming the car they didn't get in wasn't theirs and the one they did get into was...why?  I mean really, why?  Do cars have body doubles?
Oh well...

Shoe Box Leads to Law Suit

Woonsocket, SD---A seemingly frivolous mis-understanding over a forgotten photograph has prompted a South Dakota woman to sue her mother, Doris Philanges, for $1.5 million.

The photograph, found in the bottom of a shoe box full of miscellaneous pictures, old birthday cards and newspaper clippings accumulated over the years, was taken 23 years ago by Doris Philanges and forgotten.

Sally-Anne in 1987

In 1987 there was a promotion by "life" cereal to find the new spokes-person to replace "Mikey" who was getting a little long-in-the-tooth to continue as the mischievous little tyke who would "eat anything" as they liked to say.
Parents of precocious, omnivorous children nation-wide were urged to send in photos of their little darlings to contend for the soon to be open position.
The little sweety-poo in the accompanying photo, Sally-Anne Philanges, says she "would surely have been a prime contender for the honor" because of her dual pony-tails, bright eyes, and slightly asymmetrical smile, but for one small technicality; her mother "through negligence and a total disregard for my future" never actually completed the entry process by sending in the photograph.
Sally-Anne, now 26 recently found the misplaced photo while helping her mom clean a closet and was curious.  When she asked her mom about the photo they both had a good laugh about it.  Later she was joking around about the photo with her common-law husband, John-John McGuilocuddy, but he failed to see the humor in the missed opportunity and things turned sour.
John-John, who was laid off from his job at the D-L Service and Tire Center 23 months ago, and has been unable to find employment since, is in danger of losing his double-wide and has "driven a wedge" between mother and daughter.  He sees the oversight as an act of negligence that could make all the difference in the life that Sally and he are living.  "Not only that," says McGuilocuddy "if we get enough from the old bag I can stop worrying about what to do when the unemployment dries up."
Former family pastor, Rev. Tommy Millikin of the Mount Olive Evangelical Lutheran Church tends to agree. "You hate to see families torn apart like this but parents have a responsibility to exploit a child to the best of their capability."
Rudy Schoenblum, an attorney from Sioux Falls, got involved after seeing the now estranged Philanges mixing it up on the Jerry Springer TV show.  Schoenblum thinks the case is strong.  "There is no doubt the girl was cute and that Mrs. Philanges had exhibited gross negligence by not following through and entering the contest.  What parent would deprive her child of such an opportunity."
Sally-Anne has said, "I never really wanted it to come to this, but parents have to take care of their kids, and she never sent the picture in, and since this all came out I'm about sick of everyone in "the park" mocking me behind my back about not being the 'life kid'.  Hel-lo! they weren't either!"
Schoenblum could cite no precedent that would indicate that judgement might go in the favor of the younger Ms. Philanges, but states that civil cases are very different from criminal ones and that "...you never know what will sell when dealing with a jury in our cock-eyed court system.  The way they toss around huge judgements over stupid complaints....  Shoot, I've already picked out the color of my new Beamer."

Authorities Search for "Mail Box Mauler"

The "Mail Box Mauler"

Authorities have changed the scope and focus of the investigation into the destruction of USPS property. 
The wide-spread damage and destruction of mail boxes, once thought to be the result of random acts of vandalism by local high school kids who were unaccustomed to the effects of alchohol and did stupid things is now believed to be the act of one deranged individual.
Authorities now believe that the wave of man-made-mail-box-destruction may all be the results of the actions of a singe perpetrator, dubbed "The Mail Box Mauler".  Federal investigators who have now taken jurisdiction of the matter say they believe that this, seemingly ageless destroyer may simply be a concerned individual who simply became enraged when the postage rate went up from 6 cents.
They now believe that the ever increasing postage rates continue to fuel this man's rage.
This rare photo taken in the 80's lends credence to the theory.  Mysteriously however, according to descriptions and eye-witness accounts from as recently as last month and as old as 1965 the "Mail Box Mauler" does not seem to age.
Drawings done by police sketch artists over the years are remarkably similar to the above photo, and the secretary of HHS has appointed a commission to study the effects of continuous rage on the aging process.  The concerned secretary has gone on record as stating "If anger can arrest the aging process the new health care system could be in serious trouble, not to mention the already over-stressed Social Security system."
The Attorney General and the Post Master General have vowed to bring the full force of the US Government down on the head of this heinous individual.
There is also speculation that some communities may be adding tranquilizers to the public water supply to stem anger and promote aging.